intro

Welcome to my world. My goth world. OK, so maybe more of my pseudo-goth world. But I say goth is a state of mind, not necessarily an all encompassing lifestyle. I'm sure there are those that disagree, but whatever. It's a free country.

I know the first thing you might think of when you hear goth is not fitness or even health for that matter, but bear with me on this. Typically, goth may conjure up images of sickly, malnourished, drugged up individuals. And rightly so. All that prolonged angst and constant attention to the morbid can only make you weak, physically of course. And while the sunken eyes, translucent skin, and skeletal frame can be seen as beautiful and important to the gothic style, I'm hoping to change a small aspect of that image. Why be so fragile and delicate? Why not be strong, agile and fierce?

Gothic subculture defines itself by its dark and dreary moods, black hair and dress, and its slight women and frail men. But it is also a rebellious movement at heart...so wouldn't going against its own terms be exactly what it desires? True goth in a sense. My point is why not redefine goth as something more powerful and mighty?

There are already instances of this power in the goth scene. Think Kate Beckinsale in Underworld or Brandon Lee in The Crow. Both are in shape and kick major ass, regardless of their fantastical powers. Lean and sculpted is sexy. Strong is sexy. So why not let the goths' tap into that?

Personally, I've tried many times to get into the kind of shape that I know my body has the potential to be in. Long ago in high school, I was athletic. I was on the varsity track team and in pretty good shape. I ate horribly, but that was when I could and not worry about it. Now, not so much. I would go through phases of getting in shape with exercise and diet and then fall out of it a couple months down the road when it stopped being convenient. Until about three years ago, I played with becoming a vegetarian, or moreso, pescatarian (veggies and fish). It was a combination of factors that led to that decision. I knew I wanted a big change, since I was gaining weight, and I started to research the meat industry. It wasn't pretty or something I was comfortable being a part of so....I became a pescatarian, figuring I could handle mostly vegetables and fish or shellfish every once in a while. I did it for a year and successfully. I lost weight, even without exercising, though I would throw in a workout or two sometimes, and I felt better. Then the meat dreams started. I would have these dreams that I accidentally ate meat and it gave me incredible anxiety. I finally caved and slowly started eating poultry and red meat again. More time and weight added up again as well as the end of a long term relationship. I began doing more and more research into vegetarianism, knowing it was something I felt very strongly about the more I delved into it. Finally, last May I started the way of the pescatarian a second time and have been going along well with it since. No meat dreams and hopefully I'll be able to go full throttle vegetarian someday soon. So with that under control, I wanted to see what I could do to change my body.

My goals are simple. Eating right. Eating fresh and as organically as possible. The proper amounts and types of foods to help burn calories and increase my metabolism naturally. I'm not looking to weigh less now, but to gain lean, sculpted muscle. (See photos above.) I want my body to work for me - internally and externally. Emphasis again on the lean. And most of all I want to feel good and have lots of energy to accomplish all these things that I want to do in life!

How will I do this, you ask? P90X. You've probably seen the infomercials before. It's a fitness program created by Tony Horton, of P90 and 10 Minute Trainer, that uses muscle confusion to sculpt you into a lean and muscled machine. Muscle confusion is just a fancy term for using a variety of exercise techniques 6 days a week to build a solid body. My boyfriend and I are doing the LEAN version, meaning we don't use as much weight and do more reps to get longer muscles rather than bulky ones. Tony gives you a wide array of videos to do each day - cardio, core, yoga, kenpo, and good old weight training. He also gives you a meal plan to help you with each section of the 90 day workout. My boyfriend and I began a trial run last week. I'll post the results in a day or so.

This blog is more of a journal for myself during this whole experience. My trials and tribulations and of course, my progress. I also plan to review the P90X program as I go and if it goes well try the other programs in the Beachbody family.

The Goth girl in me might be a little resistant. But change is always a bit scary. Exciting, but scary. Next post, before pics! Talk about scary! Yikes!